Never giving up

I made a pact with myself to never give up because I know what taking my life will do to my family. This is what I wrote: 

"I have hope that I will get better. I have the best, most supportive family anyone could ever ask for. I need to push myself to find strength and keep going because I have no other option. I do have the strength inside me to keep going, though at this point I have no idea where it is. I will keep searching and I will find what I need to push though this perfect storm. I am surrounded by love stronger than I ever knew was possible. For these people, I owe everything to and for that I will not give up. For them, I will not take my life and watch them endure a horrific pain. Healing is my first step and I have confidence that I will step over the finish line. I will face the monster that is lurking inside me and controlling my mind. I will rid it of it's destruction. I don't believe that I will ever be cured, but I do believe I can gain the tools to prevent this monster from taking me over once again. I am a good person. I just need to believe in that statement. I am loveable, funny, nice, and caring. I am a friend, a daughter, a sister, a niece, and an aunt. I believe in myself and I am confident that I will win this battle. I have an army that nothing can compare to, who will help me in defeating this thing for good. It will make me stronger than I ever was before. I will win."